Confidence comes from a subconscious part of your brain.
You do it by watching other guys guys who you imagine are successful with women. Guys who carry themselves with confidence, independence, and yes, swagger. They don't even have to be guys you admire on any kind of personal level.
Some of them will probably be meatheads in tight t-shirts with spray tans. That's okay; your job isn't to emulate their personalities, just their confidence. You're looking for body language, the way they position themselves when talking to other people, a sense of purpose in their movements.
Pick out useful nuances and make a note of them.
Do they look people in the eyes when they talk to them? Are their movements flighty or moderately paced? You'll learn to recognize which elements are worth repeating.
However, your activities could probably be considered vaguely creepy, so if you draw anyone's attention by staring too long, ABORT MISSION!
This may not be something that most guys are willing to admit, but we naturally do this all the time; we just don't realize it. I believe that we subconsciously (or consciously) size up other guys when we're in a group to determine if they present competition for women, resources, and other things that interest our lizard brains.
Try implementing a few things that you've learned in low-pressure social situations the grocery store, the laundromat, your bedroom.
Yes, I just advocated walking around your bedroom and looking at yourself in the mirror to evaluate your own swagger. Don't confuse "swagger" with "urban style," either: you can be a computer programmer from Columbus, Ohio who wears pocket protectors and still have swagger. It's a state of mind, an innate knowledge that you've got something to offer the world, and it shows through in the way you carry yourself.
In other words, confidence.
It may score you a second date. It may even score you a third. But that's not the real benefit. The important thing is that people will notice it and respond to it. By being more forceful, aggressive, and confident, you'll notice an immediate reaction from your dates.
Confidence draws the interest of a woman but personality is what causes her to fall for you. Once you've got that pesky inferiority complex out of the way, you're free to display your true personality.
And because you have the confidence to back it up, your personality will be more attractive to women and the positive feedback will boost your actual, innate confidence. Soon you may not have to fake your confidence anymore because it will be natural. You just needed a little push in the right direction.
I'm not advocating that you display all kinds of chest-puffing, macho posturing on a first date to build your confidence. Just study what cool guys do, think about how other people respond to it, and synthesize it into your own behaviors for some great first date advice. A little faking never hurt anyone.
Last updated 689 days ago by clintsone